A few years ago, I went to this amazing writers retreat weekend put on by The Sun magazine in Big Sur, CA, and during the last morning we were all gathered and talking about what we felt about the end of the workshop, and a lot of people expressed some degree of sorrow at having to go back to their real lives, and someone brought up the quote that is the title of this blog post, which I think was originally said by some spiritual teacher or something. Ever since that workshop, I think of this quote anytime I’m saying goodbye to any kind of supercool experience and going back to my regular life, and that is the case this morning.
Blogging About Blindness
Last night I wrote a post about the convention I just went to for the National Federation of the Blind, and about the Colorado training center for the blind that I want to attend. That post was inspired in part by the fact that I just started reading the book Freedom for the Blind by Jim Omvig..
It is an online book which can be read here, Freedom for the Blind. I am only on the second chapter and already it is stirring many thoughts, feelings, insights and internal discussions, and I can already tell that it’s worth reading. I would highly encourage my blog readers to check it out, especially those that are my friends, or those that have other blind and visually-impaired people in their lives.
My visual impairment is a topic that figures prominently in my life but one I have not talked about much, so I think I’m going to do some blogging about it. Already there are several posts swimming around in my mind. Here are some of them:
-The word “blind”
-The “hierarchy of Sight” as the NFB puts it
-Normalcy and Blindness
And lots, lots more. Stay tuned, it’s going to be interesting and exploratory and thought-provoking and awesome.
~Chrys
Currently Listening:
“Less Than Strangers” – Tracy Chapman – sad song, and I’ve been kinda sad lately, so I guess I’m okay that it makes me sad. I freakin’ love her voice. She captures so much feeling.
You and me
Had some history
Had a semblance of honesty
All that has changed now
We shared words
Only lovers speak
How can it be
We are less than strangers
Oh it hurts to lose in love
Let anger and cruelty win
It’s unfair that you doubt your feelings
And that you’ll ever love again
I know that hearts can change
Like the seasons and the wind
But when I said forever
I thought that we’d always be friends
You and me had some history
Had a semblance of honesty
All that has changed now
We shared words
Only lovers speak
How can it be
We are less than strangers
I thought I saw you yesterday
I thought I passed you on the street
I swear I saw your face
I was not imagining
That you stole a glance my way
You walked away from me
My heart it may be broken
But my eyes are dry to see
You and me had some history
Had a semblance of honesty
All that has changed now
We shared words
Only lovers speak
How can it be
We are less than strangers
My First National Blind Convention and a Change in Plans
It’s after midnight and I can’t sleep so I’m up, pouring over some reading material, distracting myself and thinking things over, and I thought it might be a good time to (finally) post.
At the beginning of this month, I went to a convention for the National Federation of the Blind. It was almost an accident – I hadn’t really given much thought to attending. Years ago, I went to a state meeting with a local friend, and had a kind of hard time at the meeting and hadn’t gone back. This year, I applied to their scholarship program (and every other scholarship program I could think of or find) before I left for India. Then, about a month before the national convention, I got a call from the president of my state affiliate. He told me I hadn’t gotten a scholarship, but offered for me to go to the convention. They were doing this College Leadership Program, for a handful of students who didn’t get a scholarship, trying to get more young people involved in the organization, and so they would cover everything – airfare, hotel, registration, even a food stipend. Did I want to go?
Continue reading “My First National Blind Convention and a Change in Plans”
Moving Right Along
Tomorrow will mark two weeks after my return from India, and it feels like life is moving pretty quickly and changes are happening fast.
I made a decision about which college to go to pretty quickly after returning home, and I think in many ways, I had already made the decision, deep down, beforehand. I’m going to Portland State, which is the same school that my India program went through, and I’m pretty excited about it. I’m still a little sad that some of my top choice schools didn’t work out, though I’m also seeing it in some ways as what Julia Cameron would call “Gain disguised as loss,” because the more I move forward in this process, the more right PSU feels, so there’s also a part of me that’s glad some of the other schools didn’t work out.
Can You Ever Go Home Again?
I don’t know.
I woke up twice in the middle of the night completely disoriented, not knowing where I was and both times it took a few minutes to figure out where I was. It was weird, b/c I had something a little similar about halfway through the trip, when we had been moving around so much and slept in so many different places that as I drifted off to sleep, in that semi-lucid in between state I’d find myself momentarily thinking I was still in Calcutta or something. It happened for a few days in a row, but what happened last night was a lot stronger and felt so much more disorienting, like it really took awhile for it to register where I was and get my mind around it. Guess that could be expected for the first night sleeping at home in over three months.
Home Sweet Home?
I miss India.
I’ve been home for less than twelve hours, and let me tell you, it feels fuckin’ weird. Let me back up first though, because there was a lot in the last few days of the trip that I’d love to recount.
So, Ladakh was the shit, totally one of the most gorgeous places I’ve ever been, in so many ways. And it was kind of cool being in a smaller group (though I definitely missed the others) b/c we got to meet up and travel with other people traveling from other countries, like Erez from Israel who was hilarious and loud and talked a bit like Borat and wore these lime green pants all the time and was always making dirty jokes. The pronunciation lesson I couldn’t share on the group blog (see link in previous post) was the difference between “fact” and “fucked.” It was awesome.
Stressed Out in McLeod Ganj
Hey everyone, how’s it going out there???
Well, after Deer Park we took a taxi to McLeod Ganj, right by Dharamsala. A lot of people in my group are loving it and loving the homestays, I am definitely not. It’s just stress central on soooo many levels. I decided not to stay on longer – for a lot of reasons, and so I’ll be going home on the regularly scheduled group flight, which should be fun. It’s kind of a bummer not to be staying but I am also so ready to be home, to not be around zillions of people all the time (that’s one of the things that bugs me most about the homestays, barely a moment of privacy or time to myself at all, ever, it’s making me crazy), and to chill out.
Amritsar and the Border
Another quickie blog here from Amritsar, not far from the Golden Temple.
Gotta talk about the border first b/c that was one wild adventure. Our group went to the India-Pakistan border yesterday to watch the closing ceremony they have every day (there is also an opening ceremony every morning). I forget what the exact place is called but it is the only place where people can actually cross the border from one country to another (we couldn’t do that, you need Visas and all that, we were just there for the show). It was wild. First off, we saw tons of marijuana growing along the road on the way there, just humungous pot plants. I tried to get pictures but failed. The other thing we saw lots of were trucks full of sacks of potatoes.
Further Itinerary
This was originally a reply I wrote to Story Teller on the last post, but it got kind of lengthy and seemed more like a post, so here it is:
Hey story teller, where in India are you located exactly???
It seems the droughts have been a pretty big problem in Sikkim.
So, not on my way home yet. In Darjeeling now, and tomorrow flying to Delhi so we can take a train to Amritsar (and I think we’ll also visit Lahore, right on the Pakistani border while in Amritsar, I’m certainly hoping to). From there we go to Bir and McLeod Ganj, and after that, our group has two weeks of free travel, and we’re pretty sure that what we’ll do with our free travel time is go to Ladakh, it was a pretty clear consensus.
Updates of a More Personal Nature
All right, trying to give some drive-by updates, as quickly as possible, b/c time is soooo of the essence, as always.
First off, I found out yesterday that I got into two colleges – Western Washington University (Fairhaven College), and Suffolk University. Woo hoo! I’m only waiting to hear from two more schools, Reed and Emerson, and then it’ll be decision-making time. So that was pretty exciting.
Let’s see what else? I got a tattoo in Calcutta, can’t wait to show people at home. Was listening to some Grey’s music as I got it done. It really barely hurt, nothing at all like my first tattoo.
Chrys Buckley 