Fax From the Future: (First off, BTW that is going to be my catchphrase for whenever my current 2015 self wants to interject some thoughts into these old posts from much longer ago. This one was from September 2009. And the catchphrase is a reference to The Office) It is so weird to look back on this now. I have such a clear memory of walking into my first class. It was a night class, and it was still light out when I walked in, not knowing a single person or if I would be any good at science, kinda waiting for someone to tell me I shouldn’t be there b/c of my eyesight, and having all this excitement and fear. I had never gone to a school with such big classes and just had no idea what to expect. I remember I walked in listening to my iPod Classic (still have it, what else could accommodate my massive music collection?) and Radiohead’s “No Surprises” was playing as I walked into Hoffman Hall. It was the beginning of a really amazing time of my life that is still going on. Anyway, on to the real post:
Tag: Portland State University
Yes, this is my Final Answer…
…for the million dollar question in the game of What the Fuck Am I Doing with My Life?
Anyone who’s been following my blog this summer knows that I’ve had some back and forth thoughts about whether to start school in the fall or to attend a training center for the visually-impaired in Denver. But what you don’t know unless you’re one of the unfortunate people to have spent a lot of time with me in recent months is how intense and unending this indecision has been. I thought for sure I would go to school no matter what. Then I was unsure. Then I was certain about the center. Then indecision. Then school. Then the center. Then back and forth again and again, ad nauseam. And each time, I was SURE that I had come to a final decision.
Moving Right Along
Tomorrow will mark two weeks after my return from India, and it feels like life is moving pretty quickly and changes are happening fast.
I made a decision about which college to go to pretty quickly after returning home, and I think in many ways, I had already made the decision, deep down, beforehand. I’m going to Portland State, which is the same school that my India program went through, and I’m pretty excited about it. I’m still a little sad that some of my top choice schools didn’t work out, though I’m also seeing it in some ways as what Julia Cameron would call “Gain disguised as loss,” because the more I move forward in this process, the more right PSU feels, so there’s also a part of me that’s glad some of the other schools didn’t work out.
Adventures, Quests & Foreign Sands
Another post from July 2008. Coolest part? One of these things I wrote about actually did happen.
So, for the past few months, I’ve been setting the same three intentions. The first is about adventure. I want to go back to school next fall, I’ve felt decided on that for awhile. The meantime is the issue. I decided a few months ago that I’m not going to stay here for that time. I feel too stagnant and stuck, like I haven’t put myself out there in awhile, taken any big risks like I did back when I traveled to organic farms or moved to Seattle with no money. Those were difficult experiences, but also some of the deepest, most rewarding times I’ve lived through, really showed me what I was made of, challenged me and made me grow as a person. I miss it, the spirit of adventure, of seeing the world.
Chrys Buckley 